OGR 14/02/2012Hey Alice,Well - I LOVE your story idea. And the ending - that's really nice. I assume the idea is that, even though they demolished the old theatre, there's a new one built and opening up on the other side of the park? I think you may need to simply strengthen this final reveal to remove any ambiguity; I think it would work very well, if the boy points to a new sign flickering on that reads 'The New Theatre Royale' or similar. I really like the idea of the crowd that gathers, and in terms of adding drama and poignancy to this scene, maybe you should consider having more and more lights being turned off each time too, so that the two performers are finally all alone in the dark with a single spot-light etc. You need to be a visual poet, Alice - make this very beautiful somehow and think theatrically and expressionistically - for example, the shadows of the cranes and wrecking balls as a back-drop to the final performance - perhaps some of the audience have brought candles... Anyway, in terms of your character designs, it feels to me as if they should have great dignity somehow - not too toony - and that the clown should be more Pierrot-like:http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/79/Pierrot_photographe.jpg/220px-Pierrot_photographe.jpgand your pianist more Ivor Novellohttp://filmlinccom.siteprotect.net/archive/wrt/programs/11-2002/jpegs/novello.jpgI don't why, but when I read your script I could see it playing out in a very 50s Disney style - as opposed to Pixar or too cute - for example:http://www.imagineeringdisney.com/storage/IMAGINEERING-DISNEY_101-Dalmations.gif?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1308285745237I also keep seeing the fashion illustrations of Erte:http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xFrAnjgVPRs/TZytYP5AumI/AAAAAAAAAa4/vPjSTtJuiWM/s400/erte400.jpgThere's something 'dated' and vintage about the whole world of your story that I think you should embrace and go for a strong, distinctive, illustrative style: be sure to work with the resources available to you on myUCA/Story/Unit Materials - especially the Andrew Loomis PDFs and the Preston Blair 'Cartoon Animation' resource.